There is a heatwave going on and the water companies have asked people to preserve water; don’t waste it. I’m in my garden reading a book when I overhear my neighbours talking. 

Neighbour #1: “Are you filling the kiddie pool?”

Neighbour #2: “Yes, the water was dirty.”

Neighbour #1: “We changed the water yesterday!”

Neighbour #2: “Well, it was dirty.”

Neighbour #1: “We are supposed to preserve water!”

Neighbour #2: “Oh, don’t worry. I’m using a water-saving hose attachment!”

I could hear his facepalm. It was an actual, loud slap. For those who need extra information: with or without a water-saving attachment, the volume of water will remain the same.

A customer has paid for his meals and left the restaurant before he comes storming back in up to the bar. He speaks briefly to a coworker before storming over to me in the middle of the seating area, where he looks me up and down.

Customer: “You’re the supervisor tonight?”

Me: “Yes, how can I help?”

Customer: “My bill was $5 more expensive than it should have been.”

Me: “If you follow me over to the counter, I’ll print out your bill and we can have a look at the issue.”

Customer: “Your prices are wrong.”

I do not want to have a conversation where we can disrupt other customers.

Me: “Follow me up to the counter and I will sort it out there.”

Customer: *Not moving* “[Item #1] and [Item #2] are different prices on your posters outside.”

Me: *Admitting defeat* “I can assure you that [Item #1] is the same price. But yes, [Item #2] has gone up a few dollars. The poster states that the menu is subject to change and, as [Item #2] is currently out of season, we are paying higher prices which our menus have to reflect. However, the menu which you had on the table has the correct price.”

Customer: “You need to change the poster!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the posters cost a lot to make; that’s why we have ‘subject to change’ written on them, and we update our table menus. The price you’ve noticed is the only change we’ve had recently. Would you like me to refund you the difference?”

By this stage, the customer is right in my face.

Customer: “It’s not about the money; it’s about the ethics. Change the poster!”

I look around at a full restaurant that I should be serving.

Me: “That’s something I can’t do right now, but I will discuss it with the owner tomorrow.”

Customer: “CHANGE THE MENU!”

He’s now yelling in my face so aggressively I can feel his spit, and other customers are staring.

Me: “Sir, I can offer you a refund. If that isn’t what you would like, you can call the restaurant tomorrow and speak with the owner. I cannot change the poster right now, and as the price is correct in the table menus, it’s not my priority.”

Customer: *Yelling in my face* “YOU’RE A THIEF! CHANGE THE MENU!”

The customer stormed out, stopping only to angrily check the prices at the table, which he must have seen as correct. I was left to apologise to all the customers around us before trying to wash the spray of spit off my face. The customer’s wife left a terrible review stating how rude I was, and that I was a con artist and a thief, all over $4.

In 2014, I was a mature student in my final year of a part-time Computer Science degree. The final year involved a software development project which ran over two semesters and all students were allocated an individual Project Supervisor, who helped us develop the project and gather requirements, etc. We also had a Project Coordinator, who we were timetabled with once per week, and who was supposed to guide us through managing the project and writing our dissertation.

During the penultimate week of the autumn semester, our Project Coordinator was going to great lengths to prepare us for our first milestone, a presentation showcasing our project and the work we had done to date. She repeatedly emphasised that we must not fail the presentation part of the module; otherwise, we’d fail the whole course.

I suspect this was an embellishment on her part, but still.

We were supposed to upload a copy of our presentation to the Online Learning Environment used by the University no later than the night before the presentation, and then we’d do the presentation during class time the following evening.

That week, I finished off my presentation, and on Sunday evening, I sat down and uploaded it to the Online Learning Environment — OLE. The way the OLE worked, when you uploaded something, you’d get a green icon on the screen with a message that said, “Your document, [Title], has been uploaded,” but for some reason, you wouldn’t get an email confirmation.

I uploaded my document and got the green icon as I usually did, so I closed my browser window and went off to do something else. On Monday night, I did my presentation, which the assessors all said was excellent. They even scored me quite highly in it — above 70% — which I was pleased about.

On Tuesday evening, I got an email from the Project Coordinator. She informed me that she had discovered I “hadn’t uploaded” my presentation, and therefore, she was going to fail me. She informed me that “she had told us several times” not to fail the presentation, and that because uploading the presentation was a mandatory requirement, she was therefore authorised to fail me.

I replied to her email and said that, a,  I had been to class on Monday night, b, I had done my presentation, and, c, I had been given a very good mark for it.

She was uninterested. She kept insisting that “she had to follow procedure” and that she now had to fail me.

I was furious. I told my wife, who was also furious. In tears, I phoned my project supervisor, who was horrified. He said he had never, in all his years supervising projects, heard of anything so petty and ridiculous. He emailed the Head Of School and copied me in. The HOS was as shocked as he was, and said that, in his opinion, if I had done the presentation and been given a mark, there should be no reason to fail me.

His advice? To submit an Extenuating Circumstance claim, which would be reviewed during the Christmas holidays.

I did so, and emailed my Project Coordinator to inform her that this is what I would be doing. Her response was frosty: “Do what you like. I have to follow procedure.”

I submitted my EC claim and went abroad with my wife to stay with her family over Christmas. While away, I got an email from the School of Computing to inform me that “The EC committee had reviewed my claim and determined that I was not at fault and should be awarded the mark for my presentation.”

Relieved, I came back off Christmas break and threw myself into my project again, with one slight difference: from now on, any time I submitted assessed work to the Online Learning Environment, I screenshotted the confirmation message and emailed it to both the Project Coordinator and my Project Supervisor.

I completed my project, graduated, and later went on to complete a PhD! The Project Coordinator never said anything else about her intention to fail me. I’m not sure why she took such a notion, and I doubt I’ll ever find out, nor will I ever find out why my presentation didn’t upload.

During my time as a hearing-aid apprentice, I have to learn under a particularly disliked teacher; he makes crude jokes, has a loud voice, and doesn’t allow us to call him “Sir” in class, no “Herr [Teacher’s Last Name] ” in German — only using his first name is allowed! — or he’ll stop teaching for one minute, which is timed on the clock. 

Whenever he asks us questions, no matter how correctly answered or taught earlier by him, he has to add, “Yes, mostly correct, but…”, which can be quite frustrating.

On this instance during class, he asks:

Teacher: “So, [My Name], how do you check each person’s threshold for loud noises?” 

He’s asking how loud things are allowed to be without yet being, or close to getting painful.

I give the textbook answer.

Me: “After instructions, you rapidly increase the noise level, look into their eyes, and stop when you see a face reflex or eye twitching.”

He looks at me, walks over to my desk, sits on it, leans forward — about two handwidths away from my face — and asks:

Teacher: “And what do you do if there is a highly attractive person in front of you, longing to look deep into your eyes?”

Me: *Coldly* “I increase the noise intensity until that changes.”

Things didn’t improve much from then on, but that was the only time in two years that I saw him grinning.

I often wear a necklace sold by my favorite band to work. The necklace is an Australian one-cent coin along with a charm of the band’s logo. Customers will sometimes ask me about the necklace, or if they recognize it, will start talking about the band. Most customers understand my explanation of the coin, but this customer takes the cake.

Me: “Hello.”

I go through the spiel as I scan groceries.

Customer: “What’s that you’re wearing?”

Me: “Oh, it’s an Australian penny. My favorite band is Australian and they sell these necklaces.”

Customer: “Really? I thought that was Queen Elizabeth on it.”

Me: “It is Queen Elizabeth. It’s an Australian coin.”

Customer: “But it has Queen Elizabeth on it.”

Me: “Yes, Australia is part of the British Commonwealth.”

Customer: *Pause* “Are you Australian?”

Me: “No, but my favorite band is. They sell these necklaces to symbolize that you’re priceless. I think the proceeds go to help fight human trafficking.”

Customer: “But it has Queen Elizabeth on it.”

Me: “Yes, it does.”

The customer didn’t say anything else the rest of the time, but she did look extremely confused. I thought it was common knowledge that Australia was a part of the British Commonwealth.